My brother needs to stop with these morning conversations

  • Me: I don't want Thorin to find the stone. Like half of me is hoping that Peter Jackson changed it.
  • Chris: you know Thorin only wants the stone so he can make a ring out of it
  • Me: what?
  • Chris: For Bilbo. You know. He likes it so he's gotta put a ring on it.
  • Me: Oh. My. God.
  • Chris: Dwarves live by the code of Beyonce. Or they did before "Who runs the world" came out. So they firmly believe in the "if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it" philosophy
  • Me: Why is every morning like this with you?
  • Chris: Oh lord. I hope Thorin doesn't make the ring just so we can see footage of Bilbo doing the single hobbits dance.
  • Me: STOP
  • Chris: ALL THE SINGLE HOBBITS NOW PUT YOUR HANDS UP